What Is Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy?
- Julian Lloyd
- 5 hours ago
- 5 min read
Have you ever found yourself saying, “Part of me wants to take this new job, but another part of me is terrified to leave my current role”? Or perhaps, “Part of me knows I need to rest, but a different part feels guilty if I’m not productive”?
We all speak this language intuitively – as the saying goes, “two things can be true at once.” As humans, we are not a single, monolithic mind, but rather a collection of conflicting feelings and perspectives. Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is a therapeutic approach that takes this intuition and turns it into a structured, compassionate framework for healing.
Rather than viewing conflicting thoughts as a lack of focus or willpower, this modality views them as distinct “parts” of your personality. By understanding these respective parts, individuals can move from internal chaos to a state of calm and nuanced clarity.
Why It’s Called “Internal” Family Systems
The name of IFS often leads to a common misunderstanding. When people hear “family systems,” they naturally assume the sessions involve parents, children, or spouses sitting in a room together. But despite its name, IFS is not family or couples therapy.
In this context, the word “internal” is the key differentiator. This approach looks at the internal community of parts inside a single person’s mind. Just as a biological family has different members with unique roles — some loud, some quiet, some responsible, some rebellious — our internal world operates similarly. IFS is an individual modality designed to help you improve the relationships between these different parts of yourself.
The Core Principles of Internal Family Systems
The internal family systems model was developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz in the 1980s. It operates on a few foundational assumptions that shift how we view mental health:
Multiplicity of the Mind: It is natural and normal to be multifaceted. In IFS, this is not a sign of pathology or confusion; it is the fundamental nature of the human mind. We all contain an internal community of perspectives.
Positive Intent (No Bad Parts): This is perhaps the most transformative principle of IFS. There are no "bad" parts. Even parts that drive difficult behaviors (like extreme perfectionism or harsh self-criticism) are doing so to protect you. They are often stuck in extreme roles due to past experiences, trying to keep you safe in the only way they know how.
The Self: Beneath all the parts, everyone has a core “Self” that is undamaged and resourceful. This Self is not a part; it is who you truly are at your essence. In IFS, the presence of the Self is recognized by the "8 Cs": Calmness, Curiosity, Clarity, Compassion, Confidence, Creativity, Courage, and Connectedness.
The goal of therapy is not to silence or get rid of parts, but to restore trust in the system, allowing the Self to effectively lead the internal family.
Understanding the Three Types of Parts in IFS
To understand how internal family systems work, it helps to get familiar with IFS’s “cast of characters.” In this model, parts generally organize themselves into three distinct categories to protect the system.
Exiles
Exiles are the parts of us that hold the burdens of past hurt, trauma, or shame. These are often younger parts that felt abandoned, criticized, or frightened. Because the feelings they carry are so painful, other parts of the system try to lock them away (exile them) to keep the person from being overwhelmed by that pain.
Managers
Managers are proactive protectors. Their job is to keep the Exiles locked away so that you can function in daily life. Managers work hard to prevent painful feelings from surfacing.
Real-life example: A “Manager” part might manifest as a fierce inner critic that pushes you to work 60 hours a week to ensure you never feel the feeling of "not being good enough" (the Exile).
Firefighters
Firefighters are reactive protectors. While Managers try to prevent the fire (pain) from starting, Firefighters rush in when the flames break out. If an Exile is triggered and emotional pain breaks through, a Firefighter acts impulsively to numb or distract the system immediately.
Real-life example: If you feel a sudden wave of rejection, a Firefighter part might urge you to binge watch TV for five hours, overeat, or lash out in anger to douse the emotional pain.
What Happens During IFS Therapy Sessions
If you are accustomed to traditional talk therapy, IFS therapy can feel slightly different. It is experiential, meaning you aren't just analyzing your problems; you are actively engaging with them.
During a session, a therapist helps you turn your attention inward. This is often referred to as parts work therapy. The process involves:
Identifying a Part: You might focus on a physical sensation (like a tight chest) or a specific thought pattern.
Unblending: You learn to step back from the part so you aren't overwhelmed by it. Instead of being angry, you notice a part of you that is angry.
Curiosity: Rather than judging the part, you ask it what it needs or what it is afraid would happen if it stopped doing its job.
Witnessing: You listen to the part's story without trying to fix it immediately.
The pacing of these sessions is generally gentle and respectful. The therapist ensures that your internal system feels safe before moving toward deeper or more vulnerable work.
What Concerns Can IFS Therapy Help With?
Because this approach targets the underlying dynamics of the mind rather than just symptoms, it is applicable to a wide range of human experiences. It is frequently used for:
Trauma and PTSD: Healing the specific parts that are stuck in traumatic memories.
Anxiety and Depression: Engaging with the parts that generate worry or heaviness.
Inner Criticism: Building a relationship with the harsh internal voice to understand its protective intent.
Chronic Stress: Helping "Manager" parts relax their rigid control.
Emotional Regulation: Reducing the intensity of reactive "Firefighter" responses.
Research has shown IFS to be effective for improving general functioning and well-being. For more details on the evidence base, you can visit the Foundation for Self Leadership.
How IFS Is Different From Other Therapy Approaches
IFS stands out because of its focus on relationship-building within the psyche.
IFS vs. CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy): While CBT focuses on identifying and changing "irrational" thoughts, IFS views those thoughts as coming from specific parts. Instead of challenging the thought, IFS welcomes the part holding the thought to understand why it is there.
IFS vs. EMDR: Both are effective trauma-informed therapy approaches, but they work differently. EMDR focuses on processing specific memories through bilateral stimulation, while IFS focuses on healing the relationship between the Self and the wounded parts.
Is Internal Family Systems Therapy Right for Everyone?
While IFS is a powerful modality, therapy is never one-size-fits-all. This approach requires a willingness to look inward and use your imagination to visualize or sense different aspects of your personality.
With this in mind, IFS works exceptionally well for clients who are curious about their inner workings and are ready to move beyond simple symptom management. However, for individuals currently in acute crisis who need immediate stabilization, other approaches might be prioritized before deep parts work begins.
How This Approach Fits Into Therapy at Flourish
Healing is a complex, individual journey, and the best therapy is tailored specifically to the unique needs and goals of each individual.
At Flourish Psychology, our team utilizes an integrative, trauma-informed perspective. We recognize that frameworks like IFS offer powerful language for understanding internal conflict, but they are just one way to view the human experience. Our focus is on finding the approach that resonates most with you, rather than adhering rigidly to any singular model.
Whether you are working one-on-one with a psychologist to navigate anxiety or seeking to understand your relationship patterns, the ultimate goal is always increased self-compassion and clarity.
If you are curious about different therapy approaches and how they may support your goals, working one on one with a psychologist can help you explore what feels like the right fit. Our team at Flourish Psychology is here to support you in finding the tools and insights that fit your personal path to wellness.